(by Edward Zeusgany, copyright 2001, all rights reserved)

About once a month, Gary would travel to Marblehead to visit his parents for the weekend. He always told his mother that he was going to arrive home sometime on Saturday before dinnertime. Friday evening he would leave Northampton, where he was a professor of English at Smith College, and go to a gay club in Tyngsboro, south of the New Hampshire border and only a short distance from route three.

He had his own key, so that, if he got to his parents’ house in the wee hours of the morning, he could let himself in. But, if he met someone, he did not have to show up before five in the afternoon. And if he was having a really good time, he could call and say that something had come up and he would see them on Sunday or even the following weekend.

One fall evening, he arrived at the club about nine. There were only a few people there at such an early hour. He took a seat at the bar and ordered a beer. Gradually, the place began to fill.

Behind the bar there was a mirror. Gary would look at the reflections of the other people. This was a less forward procedure, unless the person being looked at happened to notice. Most of the men there were interested in who was looking at whom, but few resorted to such indirect means.

After a while, Gary saw in the mirror a nice looking young man, who had taken a seat about four stools to his left. He had curly golden blonde hair, brown eyes, was very cute and was shorter than the men sitting on either side. All this was to Gary’s satisfaction; but even better, the kid seemed to be sneaking looks at him.

Gary became more bold, allowing the young man to see that he was looking too. They exchanged shy, glassy smiles. Gary had just about made up his mind that he should go over to the kid and say something, when there was a hand on his shoulder. It was the young man, who said those magic words, “Would you like to dance?”

“Sure,” Gary agreed, and getting down from the bar stool, followed the youth to the dance floor and the whirling, multicolored lights. The young man was about 5’ 6,” a little taller than Gary, but they probably weighed the same. The age difference though was considerable, the boy was about 20 to Gary’s 36. The first dance was disco, but the second was a slow number. The kid immediately made it clear that he intended to lead. Although unexpected, Gary found this to be amusing and not at all unpleasant. The youth held him in his arms with a calm authority, as if this were the way things were meant to be.

After more vigorous dancing, they needed a rest. The kid led Gary to a table surrounded by some of the boy’s friends, who had since arrived. Now that they had time to talk, Gary found out that the young man’s name was Dave, and that he was a junior at U. Mass. Gary realized that this could be problematic, because a student at U. Mass. could take courses at Smith. Luckily for him, Dave turned out to be an Education major, so it was very unlikely that he would be taking Gary’s only advanced course, one just allowed him last year to compensate for an otherwise unremitting schedule of freshmen and sophomores. Along with reappointment, this assignment was meant to signal that they liked him, so far.

Dave bought Gary a beer. They sat around for a time, then danced again. Dave asked Gary, “What’s going to happen later?”

“What do you mean?”

“Will you stay with me tonight, or with someone else?”

“I’d be glad to spend the night with you,” Gary replied.

Dave seemed to be relieved when that was settled. They danced and, later, went out to the car of one of Dave’s friends to smoke some hashish out of a little pipe. These friends of Dave were all about his age. They were all nice looking kids; although Gary found Dave to be the most appealing. Possibly, the attractiveness of his friends made Dave think that Gary would end up with one of them instead of him. Perhaps such things had happened before.

Returning to the club, they drank beer and stomped on the dance floor, until closing time at 2 a.m. Then Dave informed Gary that they had an invitation to stay at his friends’ apartment. One of their roommates was away and a bedroom was free. Since both Dave and Gary had their own cars, there was quite a caravan traveling back to Lowell, Dave’s hometown and the location of the residence.

The apartment was in a six unit complex. Dave’s friends had the center, first floor location. On entering and shedding their outer garments, they spread themselves around the living room. This area was filled with new but inexpensive furniture. No piece matched another or even seemed to have been selected to go with anything else. The hosts brought out beer and pretzels. The pipe was lit and passed around, then some joints.

There were four tenants of the three bedroom unit; John and Bruce, who were lovers; Bill and Bob, who were not. It was Bob, who was away and whose room Dave and Gary were going to use. The sixth person present that evening was Terry, who was with John and Bruce, so only Bill had no partner for the night.

Terry had red hair, green eyes, was not much taller than Dave, and had a very attractive appearance. He smiled often and was very playful. John and Bruce were both about 5’ 10” tall, dark and slender, but John had frizzy hair, while Bruce’s had only a slight wave. Bill, who was a little shorter than they, was blonde, blue eyed, and had an average build. He seemed at first to be a bit distant, to have an almost cold or haughty attitude. But this was only semblance. Somewhat shy and quiet, his face rarely showed any feeling, although he was considerate and generous. It was Bill who made sure that everyone had whatever they wanted; and it was he, who made Dave and Gary feel welcome.

Except for Gary, they were all in their early twenties. The only student was Dave. Terry was a legislative aide for the local state senator. The others had relatively low paying service jobs in the area. Earlier, at the bar, when Gary had been asked about his occupation, he had told them. They had seemed to be completely unaffected by his status, and continued to treat him as a peer. At that time Gary was still very young looking.

Dave had drawn Gary to him. The young man was holding him in his arms and petting him, unfastening a shirt button, slipping a hand inside, kissing his neck, whispering sounds into his ear. None of the others were being physical. They seemed to be mostly interested in getting high. The room was filling up with the smoke and smell of pot. It was nearing five in the morning when Gary finally suggested to Dave that they go to bed.

The bedroom had clothes strewn everywhere. The bed was a mattress on the floor, with a fitted bottom sheet and a scatter of blankets. Silently they got undressed and onto the bed. Dave had a more muscular body than Gary had expected. Not developed through weight training, he was more the wiry type with good definition.

It was a little strange to Gary to have Dave making love to him. When he had first seen Dave in the mirror, he had thought of the roles being reversed, of his being the initiator. Instead it was Dave who was taking charge, a kid who was the same age as his students, who could be one of them, who knew that he was a professor. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy it, he did.

The best part for Gay was when Dave rolled him over onto his back, straddled his feet, encircled his legs with his arms and gave him a delightful blow job. Gary got his head raised up on a pillow to watch the naked youth’s head and shoulders bobbing up and down. It felt wonderful to have his thighs being held in the boy’s firm grip, in the embrace of the young man who a moment before had shot his sperm into Gary’s body.

*****

The sound of talking and the smell of coffee, woke Gary from a deep sleep. He was alone in the bed and the door to the room was open. Every now and then, someone would walk by the opening. First there was Bruce with a towel around his middle, his hair wet and plastered down. Then Terry went past wearing only a pair of red briefs.

Gary decided not to dress for breakfast. He glanced at his watch and saw that it was quarter of twelve. He had not had much sleep. Putting on a robe that he spied thrown across a side chair, he went to join the others.

Dave, who was stark naked, came to him and gave him a hug and a kiss. Over Dave’s shoulder, Gary could see that Bob had on a robe, but it was open and he had nothing on under it. Bill, in a pair of blue bikini briefs, was making a tray of English muffins to toast in the oven. The kitchen table was loaded with an unorganized assortment of food, plates and utensils.

After breakfast, Dave and Gary went for a walk. It was a bright sunny day. They made plans to see each other when they got back to their respective schools.

Their relationship grew over that next year. During Dave’s senior year, they lived together. After graduating, with a major in early childhood education, Dave got a job working at a preschool in the area.

Upon being granted tenure, Gary became a gay activist. Working almost alone, he mounted an effort to have Smith College adopt a policy to ban discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. The times had changed. He wasn’t fired, or even threatened. Only some of his gay and lesbian colleagues complained to him about his efforts. It took four years of getting various college groups to endorse the position, but finally the president made a positive recommendation to the board of trustees and the new policy was put into effect. Gradually, the other institutions of high education in the valley followed the lead of Smith.

By the time that Gary retired, there was an active faculty/staff support group for lesbian, gay and bisexual affairs. This group never acknowledged Gary’s contribution. Gary and Dave now reside in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

“Dave” was not a student. He shared the apartment with the other young men. After breakfast, the boys wanted to smoke. I (Gary) decided that I had better leave for my parents’ house. I did not want to get high and their conversation bored me. They talked about grass, clothes, movies, rock groups and grass.

My new friend wanted me to stay and smoke with him. I suggested that we go for a walk together before I left, but “Dave” did not want to leave his pals. We exchanged phone number, and then I left.

Neither of us called the other. I saw “Dave” at the club a few times, but “Dave” only said hello. Once while I was talking to someone, “Dave” came by and told me that, later, if I wished, I could join him and his friends at their table. I did not feel that “Dave” and I had enough in common to want to pursue him. “Dave” probably felt the same way.